© gerry coughlan 1997 - 2012
The definitive guide to Dublin Scangers
courtesy Yvonne in Oz
- Call your mother "aul one" and your father "aul lad"
- Possess bum fluff on upper lip. (also applies to "young ones")
- Social life revolve around "Doctor Quirkey's, de "Harp" or "De Back Gahe" (The Back Gate)
- Always have a 10 box of "johnny blue" on you.
- Faded blue levi's rammed up the arse must be worn sometimes accompanied by the raggedy yellow or orange Asics tracksuit top..
- Enormous sovereign rings worn on every finger. For the girls large and studded hoopy earrings are your only man.
- Diamond jumpers and Scanda Jacket essential part of wardrobe. These compliments the tracksuits down to a tee.
- Lots of experience in sitting down back of bus and terrorising people as well as graffitti on seats. Standing at the door of the Dart and wishing your wares upon 'every bitta skert' that comes near you has also been known to be popular.
- Posters of Tupac to be placed on bedroom wall. For girls David Beckham or Ronan Keating will suffice.
- Always carry a packet of Rizla.
- Portrait of Arse embedded into at least one corner wall.
- Chain hanging out over jumper.
- Know the Macari's Takeaway menu off by heart.
- Be mates with a Doyler, Rayo, Whacker, Git or Mousey.
- Girls are all called Natalie, Jasinteh, Janet, Imeldeh, Maggie, Sharon or Tracey. Not that some of these aren't nice names but when said with an accent from the 'Mun you could cut bread with, then they take on another significance.
- Moped essential as is driving around with the helmet on top of the head.
- Pram and small child essential for the young up and coming knackerette.
- Spit on pavement at least every three seconds.
- All your relatives live on the same street.
- Nearest thing to nature you have been is swimming and fishing in Canal or swearing at culchies when they come up "from the fuckhin country".
- Copy of the Sun in back pocket at all times.
- Pretend to follow League of Ireland football but only go for the fights.
- Celtic jersey with own name on the back.
- Constantly have scowl on your face.
- "Buuurdd" must be at least "preggers" or have a "little fucker".
- Rotweiller essential to keep up the hardman image and tell people who even look crossways at it that you'll "bate de fuchkin bollix off them, you English pox" even if they're from Cabinteely.
- City center consists of Henry and O Connell streets - the odd venture to Donnybrook kiddies disco for the "oul soft roide" is necessary at least once a month. Get extra points for shagging your mates motts and your cousins at these events.
- Left school before 16.
- Time spent from June to October is collecting for bon-fire.
- House called something imaginative like "Celticsville".
- Name written on at least ten lamposts around your house. i.e. Anto=a queer or Natalie=is a man.
- Shrill whistle at everyone and walk with arms swinging and exaggerated limp. Common greetings called out to friends include "Stary?" or "Ahh rihe Shaymo?"
- Name must end with an o at the end.(Example Anto, Rayo,Pado, Micko and with and ie sound for the girls - Nahalie, Tracey
- Summer holidays are always in Courtown and you think its the best ting since sliced bread.